Dear Netflix…

24 Sep

Dear Netflix,

Oh Netflix. What am I going to do with you? I fell in love with you in early November. I saw you at my friend’s party and when I found out that you were only $8.99, I knew I had to have you. The idea of watching countless seasons of old TV shows while getting DVDs mailed to my door on a continual basis was like heaven. Plus the first 30-days are free! Sign me up! But Netflix, I feel like you led me on.

As soon as I was comfortable in our honeymoon period, you started changing. I got an email from you two-weeks into our relationship that kind of hurt my feelings. I’m going to start having to pay $9.99 to have streaming and DVDs to my convenient campus box? This was an ultimatum I wasn’t ready to deal with. Especially since I hadn’t even started paying yet!  But, I was so in love, that I didn’t let your sudden decision deter my infatuation.

Those first few months were the best. We watched three seasons of Dexter together, four seasons of Psych, and so many movies. Plus you kept sending me DVDs. You were so reliable, and you were starting to really get to know me. You always had the best recommendations. You understood me.

This summer though, things got a little rocky.  Once I got back to Florida, I was so bored and depended on you a little bit too much. Even in New York with so many things to do and see, all I wanted was to come home to you and watch TV. Netflix, I don’t think you understand how much I loved you!

But all of a sudden you changed. You became so cold to me. We would start a TV series, and then half way through, the following seasons would disappear. And then, you said something to me that you can never take back. Out of the blue, you came home and told me that I was going to have to start paying double for you. I’m a college student; I don’t have $15.98 disposable income to spend on you each month!

Your actions are unforgivable. Even when you tried to woo me back with all four seasons of Mad Men, I couldn’t do it. Every episode I watched I felt so guilty about, until finally I couldn’t take it. I broke up with you Netflix. It was over.

I’m sorry Netflix, but no amount of apologies can make up for how you mistreated me. When you sent me that email Monday, I wanted to believe you. You told me you messed up. But while you were apologizing to me for one abrupt change, you announced another! Qwikster! What is this? You came off so arrogant, and you really hurt my feelings.

After I got your email, I knew things were officially over for us.

Don’t call me. Don’t write me. And I’m keeping the I ❤ Huckabees DVD!

Goodbye,

Eve

by Eve Sembler

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3 Responses to “Dear Netflix…”

  1. Silke Sen September 26, 2011 at 4:04 pm #

    Imagine being in that relationship since 2004! Thanks for your post; it articulated perfectly what I’d love to tell Netflix myself…

  2. Jonathan Emden September 29, 2011 at 1:11 am #

    There’s a pattern throughout your writing that involves longer, smoother sentences punctuated by short sentences. I enjoyed how that added texture to the piece. Additionally, the concept is interesting and distinguishes itself from the others. If I were to offer a recommendation, I would say not to use dependent clauses too much. It can disrupt the flow you are trying to create.

  3. Natalia Ortega October 3, 2011 at 1:58 am #

    Such a creative way to deliver this message. You had me laughing the entire time and I couldn’t stop reading until the end. If only we all had the courage to get out of such destructive relationships!

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